September 06, 2006
yesterday was a very different day. i realised actually we're constantly in contact and i've never tried not seeing him for a month. haha is it a curse? anyway i hope you get to read this! (:
well this is dedicated to
you :
thankyou for everything, i've really learnt and matured a lot from being with and around you. yesterday was enlightening when you said you "bu gan xiang tai duo le". hmmx. i kinda dunno what to say to that. just that i hope the situation changes after my 'O's. i think learning to give is the most precious gift i've received from you. the second most is learning to be totally honest. and even though you always say you don't want me to give too much, you don't think thats too good for me, but well.. i guess its really kinda hard. maybe thats why we're fated never to be together. because i give too much and you don't want me to. and if i stop giving, i'll just be following what you say. which means i'm giving again. ironic, eh? but i guess thats just the way life works! haha kinda confusing yeah? but anyway, i'll work hard. for
myself and those who care. (:
wo hui jiayou de, ni ye yi ding yao oh!
then another complex problem i discovered today was revealed to me during the screening of my lit text, the joy luck club. its about worth. Rose goes out of her way to give to Ted, because she believes that she loves Ted and this is the way her emotions should be expressed. but to Ted, she just becomes weak and subservient. and Ted apparently dislikes this side of her and requests for divorce. understandable, for if he wanted a wife like that he might as well go get a robot. but in the end, her mother saves her, by showing her her
worth. and she realises that no one, absolutely NO ONE should live for the sake of someone else. Rose should not and need not live for Ted. perhaps its chinese traditions which cause her to be this way, for they state that a woman must be obedient and 'ever-giving' to her husband. but ironically, she has never been taught to think this way. in fact, quite contrarily, her mother recognises the need for self-worth and teaches her so. i wonder, could it be that chinese women will always be chinese? maybe deep within all of us, no matter where we stay or what we become, we will stay true to our heritage displaying the characteristics of people of our culture. haha someone should do a research on this!
yeah, worth! (: thought-provoking, eh?
well this is turning out to be a really long entry so i better end here!
as sokh would say,
Ta
Ta
For
Now!(:
;seokh
Y6:20:00 pm
